I have seen couples who don’t fight with each other, don’t

quarrel over any issues , nor do they contradict each

other. But despite all this, something is missing between

them – love.

Marriages are always successful when both partners make

some compromises. In an Indian context, it is a fact that

most of the marriages were arranged – where both the

spouses are ignorant about each other and they have to

compromise in some way or other to make a relationship

viable. But these compromises shouldn’t be confused with


We were habituated in the philosophy that love develops in

due course of time. Company becomes a habit. Habit leads

to a kind of tolerance and feeling good in its company. It

may so happen that one of the pair may compromise till the

end of his/her life while still together. But staying

together because it is habit is also not love.

Togetherness is not love, compromise is not love, and

habituation is also not love. Love is something extra; a

celestial feeling, a divine notion, an ambrosial experience

and totally unconditional.

It is above trust, above the earthly attraction and above

all logic. The barriers to love are insecurity, ego and a

taken for granted attitude. They block the path which

leads to expressing your feelings.


In some relationships, a husband fears that his pretty

young and beautiful wife may elope with some other fellow

and this insecurity provokes him to behave in a abnormal

way and he will guard, spy, and constraint all her financial

activities with a preconceived notion. Slowly his love will be

occupied by a sense of suspicion.

In others, both partners try their best to adapt themselves

to the other or try to appease each other. And after a

certain point of time, both blame each other for not

understanding their sacrifice because in some way love is

suppressed by sacrifice and sacrifice can’t go on for an

unlimited time.

In some cases the persons fear that their love may be

misinterpreted as a weakness and the other may overpower

him/her so they try their best to hide their emotions. By

the time he/she realizes, it is almost over.

There is no meaning to mourn before a picture when you

ignored your spouse when he/she was alive. Some even

realize their value long after losing the beloved ones. These

barriers act as a silent killer of love just like carbon

monoxide replaces oxygen from hemoglobin; even without a

warning, the victim succumbs to death.

So shed your ego, discuss your problems, be frank to each

other. Not quarreling with each other doesn’t mean you

don’t have any issues, rather it is a sort of compromise.

When compromise intrudes into your love world, the

relationship becomes conditional. This upsets the love

equilibrium. So stretch your hands a little wider because

you are one step behind that stage.

Put 100% into that relationship and grab the opportunity.

Begin to enjoy each other’s company without any

expectation and it will definitely be appreciated and

reciprocated by your partner. Love seems to blossom when

it is reciprocated.

— Copyright © 2013 Swarna Prabha Kar (Mrs.)

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s