PAVING THE WAY TO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
I have seen couples who don’t fight with each other, don’t
quarrel over any issues , nor do they contradict each
other. But despite all this, something is missing between
them – love.
Marriages are always successful when both partners make
some compromises. In an Indian context, it is a fact that
most of the marriages were arranged – where both the
spouses are ignorant about each other and they have to
compromise in some way or other to make a relationship
viable. But these compromises shouldn’t be confused with
We were habituated in the philosophy that love develops in
due course of time. Company becomes a habit. Habit leads
to a kind of tolerance and feeling good in its company. It
may so happen that one of the pair may compromise till the
end of his/her life while still together. But staying
together because it is habit is also not love.
Togetherness is not love, compromise is not love, and
habituation is also not love. Love is something extra; a
celestial feeling, a divine notion, an ambrosial experience
and totally unconditional.
It is above trust, above the earthly attraction and above
all logic. The barriers to love are insecurity, ego and a
taken for granted attitude. They block the path which
leads to expressing your feelings.
In some relationships, a husband fears that his pretty
young and beautiful wife may elope with some other fellow
and this insecurity provokes him to behave in a abnormal
way and he will guard, spy, and constraint all her financial
activities with a preconceived notion. Slowly his love will be
occupied by a sense of suspicion.
In others, both partners try their best to adapt themselves
to the other or try to appease each other. And after a
certain point of time, both blame each other for not
understanding their sacrifice because in some way love is
suppressed by sacrifice and sacrifice can’t go on for an
In some cases the persons fear that their love may be
misinterpreted as a weakness and the other may overpower
him/her so they try their best to hide their emotions. By
the time he/she realizes, it is almost over.
There is no meaning to mourn before a picture when you
ignored your spouse when he/she was alive. Some even
realize their value long after losing the beloved ones. These
barriers act as a silent killer of love just like carbon
monoxide replaces oxygen from hemoglobin; even without a
warning, the victim succumbs to death.
So shed your ego, discuss your problems, be frank to each
other. Not quarreling with each other doesn’t mean you
don’t have any issues, rather it is a sort of compromise.
When compromise intrudes into your love world, the
relationship becomes conditional. This upsets the love
equilibrium. So stretch your hands a little wider because
you are one step behind that stage.
Put 100% into that relationship and grab the opportunity.
Begin to enjoy each other’s company without any
expectation and it will definitely be appreciated and
reciprocated by your partner. Love seems to blossom when
it is reciprocated.
— Copyright © 2013 Swarna Prabha Kar (Mrs.)